day 2

it might not be "officially" in any medical books, but blogger's remorse is a real thing.  (if you blog, you know.)

all day yesterday after i posted, i regretted it.  not the posting, but admitting my current struggle in such a public way.  what will people think?

i live a very satisfying life, anyone can see that!  what will they think of me when they hear that i struggle to keep content with all i have?

i have a husband who is kind, faithful, smart and fun.

i have three healthy, vibrant, relatively obedient children, who never ever have to go without milk to drink.

i have a very cute and cozy home home full of things that are special to me.

i have a job that i feel is a direct gift from the Lord's hand.

i am healthy and strong in my body and mind (most days).

i have a rich heritage of faith and a cloud of witnesses in my daily life to help me.

not content?  that's just gross!

but here's what the Lord whispered to me:

don't worry about what you think people see - the externals don't matter.  the enemy can always find a way to dig into our deepest fears and desires, twisting them to dissatisfaction.  if you don't protect yourself by surrounding yourself with the Truth, you will fall into the temptation that nothing is enough.  that you are not enough.

Thanks Lord!

contentment Truth:

"Humble yourself, therefore, under God's mighty hand,

that He may lift you up in due time.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because

He cares for you.

Be alert and of sober mind.

Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion,

looking for someone to devour.

Resist him, standing firm in the faith...."

1 Peter 5:6-9

"Taste and see that the Lord is good;

blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.

Fear the Lord, you his saints,

for those who fear Him lack nothing.

The lions may grow weak and hungry,

but those who seek the Lord lack 

no good thing.

Psalm 34:8-10

God is Faithful.

the devil is a liar.

The Lord has things to teach me and I will not let my pride get in the way. If He told me to do this here, maybe someone out there needs to hear the same things.  

Humble yourselves, friends, and watch that lion starve!

31 days

of Thanksgiving

all month long

So there's a linky party around blog-land that happens once a year over at Nesting Place.  It comes around each October and it's called "31 days."  The point is to blog about one topic every day of this month, as a challenge for yourself and for the enjoyment of your readers.

I've never blogged even half the days of one month, and I could never really see myself doing so, so I didn't even consider joining in.

But something happened:

at the same time I was planning to attend a family Thanksgiving dinner....

at the same time I was sitting down to arrange a Thanksgiving church service...

at the same time I was thinking about my Thanksgiving table-scape for the dinner I'm hosting...

I noticed a discomfort in myself.  Not happy...but without any specific reason.  Easily frustrated...without a legitimate cause.  Overly sensitive...without hormonal influence!

I've been feeling fine lately, I thought to myself, what is this?

I passed by my Bible study reading - why am I avoiding this? 

And then it hit me.

Really, Lord?  How many times do I have to beat down this monster?

discontent.

I picked up my Bible study book, I should at least read the chapter.

One Thousand Gifts.

A book I've heard about a lot, but had never read.  I knew the basic premise - be thankful, list all the good God has brought into your life.  I figured that would be easy enough, and Ann Voskamp would probably have some interesting insights about it all.  I joined the Women's group reading the book together on Wednesday mornings and figured I was doing my part.  I was not dismayed when our leader said this book would challenge us in ways we've never know.  I was not turned off by Lysa Terkeurst's (love her!) quote on the back of the book that said this book would "mess" with me.  I'm thankful, I've got this.

As I stumbled through the words of chapter two my heart and stomach churned.  I learned that I haven't even begun to learn about being thankful.  Deep gratitude.  Overflowing joy.  Salvation.

Then the whisper came.

Next week is Thanksgiving for us here in the northern part of North America.  Why not spend the whole month looking to understand what it means to be thankful?  Why not challenge myself to see the gifts for each day and share them here?

I won't worry about linking up with the group.  I didn't count the list, but I'm pretty sure there are a jillion people joining in.  I'm not worried about being heard here.  I just know what the Lord is calling me to do, and I want to be the kind of follower who obeys.

Join me if you can, I'd love to share this journey with you!
 

31 days

of Thanksgiving