it's just me

every once in a while a strange thing happens to me.  i forget who i am.

my husband brought home this beautiful box of mandarine oranges,

and as i opened the box and saw all those perfect pieces of red tissue paper, i thought, i should craft something out of those papers!

and then i saw the solid cardboard base of the box and thought, i should mod-podge that and use it for...something.

and then i remembered - that's not something i would ever do.  that is simply not who i am!

as i laughed and laughed (to myself, at myself) i thought about how bizarre it is that i would even think about doing those things...

i thought about how i guess i'm not always who i thought i'd be "when i grew up."

i considered how i'm still surprised at how uncomfortable i am in social settings - i really thought i'd grow out that!

i wondered about how i became the kind of mom that (sometimes) bakes bread and (mostly) cooks from scratch, considering i wasn't really in to those things growing up.

i marveled again at the gift of my role in our church, the fun and challenge of serving, the joy of doing pre-marriage counseling (when our early years of marriage at times felt like an absolute disaster!).

God had a plan for me, a design for who i could become under His hand, and as long as i don't bother myself with comparison, i can like who i am.  imperfect, with lots of room to grow but uniquely me.  so what if i do things a little differently than others, or don't do really cool things that other really cool friends can do?  my only desire is to hear the voice of the Lord and do what He calls me to do.

it's just me.  some people will like me, some will not.  but my sense of approval and self-worth must come from Him alone.

Can we just embrace who God is creating us to be today?

The Lord will work out his plans for my life—

    for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. 

   Don’t abandon me, for you made me.

psalm 138:8 nlt

good medicine

"A cheerful heart is good medicine,

but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."

Proverbs 17:22

Today we had a surprise!

About ten minutes after Gavin left to take A & E to school,

in the midst of the twelfth reading of Humphrey's Bedtime this week,

I heard a happy voice -

"Hi Mom!"

A water-main break had occurred and school was

CANCELLED!

Now, I can't say I'd always respond well to that kind of information, but today the Lord must have blessed me with an extra measure of grace because a smile spread across my face and I welcomed them to join us for the rest of the story (and the next, and the next...).

I didn't get everything on my TO-DO list done today,

but the kids had a great morning playing outside....

and having hot chocolate!

And after an afternoon apart,

at preschool,

staff meeting,

playdate,

and piano lessons,

we met around the table for warm beef stew from the crockpot and buttermilk biscuits!

(and yes occasionally we have wine with a mid-week meal!)

Spending a surprise and mandatory vacation day together was a real blessing,

truly, good medicine!

pick me up!

I'm sure most parents have videos like this in their collection, but I couldn't resist. If this doesn't make you smile.....

Have a blessed day!

smile!

Don't most kids go through this phase where when you ask them to pose for a picture and say, "smile!" this is the face they make?  I love it!  It almost seems like they so desperately want to show you how very happy they are, and that the only way to do it is smile for all they're worth!

I like to think I'm a fairly joyful person...most days.  I have no expectation that my life should be easy, smooth or even "happy."  But I do believe God's Word when I'm told that joy is possible for me.  

but, on a day like today when I have unanswered questions and problems I'm not sure how to solve, I have to ask.....How?

Trust.

Take a look at Isaiah 55!

If I choose to believe that only He can satisfy. (v 1-2)  If I choose to believe that He hears me and always keeps His promises. (v 3-4)  He  has made me splendid! (v 5)  He will let me find Himself and He will  show me mercy. (v 6-7)  He knows my situation and myself better than I do and always sees the big picture. (v 8-9)  He has given me purpose and will help me reach His goals for my life! (10-11)  He will bring me joy and peace! (v 12) 

I'm smiling harder already!