today

take a deep breath
and listen closely...

what's that sound?

it's silence.
quiet.
calm.

it's the coffee percolating,
the washer spinning,
the air conditioner blowing.

stillness.

it's Bible pages turning,
pen writing,
keyboard tapping.

peace.

no questions asking,
no distant fighting,
no tv blaring.

hush.

finally,
and yet suddenly?
the day has arrived.

backpacks,
lunches,
squeaky new shoes.

the first day of school.

breathe deeply
and enjoy the sound
of silence.

hope in the mail

A great surprise

(though I did order it...)

on a cold winter afternoon

of catching up on rest and household duties.

 Sevenly.org is the maker of this cozy sweatshirt, and

money from its purchase goes to 

Living Water International

to help provide clean drinking water to places that need it

and share the Good News of Christ-

the true Living Water.

(apparently sweatshirts are my new thing!) 

The warmth of this garment reminds me of the warm love

of my Saviour, and the words written across it

~hope runs deep~

remind me to never give up.

"Yes, my soul, find rest in God;

my hope comes from him."

Psalm 62:5

week's end

this week has been so long.  and full.  and tiring.  and long.

and most of this weekend is busy.  and busy.  and busy.

but tonight was a gift!

couch-snuggles with 2/3 of my kiddos was exactly what i needed.

(all 3 would have even been better!)  

i feel refreshed and renewed.

times of refreshing do indeed come from the Lord!

thank You Lord for rest and warmth and love.

slow

this summer has been anything but slow for our family.

we have had 5 weddings,

(with more to come)

some of which we were part of...

3 weeks at camp,

(with more come)

serving in a variety of ways...

a 3 day get-away,

so needed for the family to reconnect...

{as well as our on-going regular responsibilities at church

(a.k.a. our "jobs")...}

mixed in with 

Gramma's Camp,

the wading pool,

pre-marriage counselling,

sleep-overs,

entertaining new friends and old,

birthdays and family times,

and 

all the prep that goes along with 

coming and going,

coming and going,

coming and going...

today is a slow day.

nothing on the agenda.

my heart was craving worship as i thought about the seasons

getting ready to change again.

reading in Psalm 104 reminded me 

Who is in control of the seasons,

Who is the One who breathes life into all things.

today i will be slow.

and breathe deep.

and be renewed.

"When you give them your breath

[when you send your Spirit],

life is created,

and you renew the face of the earth."

ps 104:30

rest

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; 

via

    my hope comes from him.

via

He alone is my rock and my salvation;

    he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

via

My salvation and my honor depend on God;

    he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

via

Trust in him at all times, O people;

via

pour out your hearts to him,

via

for God is our refuge.

via

selah

Psalm 62:5-8

hello monday

hello restful monday!

hello restful monday:

sleeping in,

coffee drinking,

thrift-shopping,

laundry doing,

monday.

hello restful monday:

pulse slowing,

few words speaking,

barely thinking,

happy sewing,

monday.

hello restful monday:

blog reading,

happy pinning,

nate watching,

fresh salsa tasting,

 monday.

i needed to see you.

{linking up with lisa leonard ~ hello monday}

restless

credit

"let all that I am wait quietly for God for my hope is in Him."

Psalm 62:5

coasting

have you ever had that thing where you say something (or quote someone) that sounds 'wise' in a conversation with a friend, only to later realize that quote was for yourself?

is it just me?

the truth of the matter is i read quite a bit and listen to a lot of sermons and podcasts, so i've often got something on the tip of my brain that can fit into conversation, and i often worry that i sound like the 'answer lady' - because i certainly am not...

the other day i was chatting with a friend and i heard myself quote something my husband said in a sermon years ago. (in fact, i told my friend that it was the first time when listening to him speak that i didn't hear him, i heard the Lord.)

"when you see an eagle, high in the sky, coasting-

they're actually gradually floating closer to the ground.

if you're in a place in your relationship with the Lord where you know you're coasting,

you're not maintaining the place you were-

you're moving farther away from Him."

this has been ringing through my brain ever since i quoted it.

this is the reminder the Lord had for me - i have been coasting.

this morning a verse came to mind as i was sorting the laundry:

"in repentance and rest is your salvation,

in quietness and trust is your strength..."

isaiah 30:15

i confess, Lord, i've been trying to do it on my own...

i'm busy - and keeping busy - not slowing down to hear from  You....

i talk to too much, even when i talk to You - teach me listen...

i believe Your ways for me are best, help me to overcome any unbelief...

what you see

When I am sad, I hide.
When I am burdened, I keep to myself.
When I am lonely, I stay lonely and I don't mind.

When I feel restored, I want to reach out.
I wonder how many people have been wading through the waters of life, and like me, don't talk about it.

When my brother-in-law won a gift of a photo shoot with an amazing photographer and gave the gift to us for a (first ever) pro family photo, I didn't book the appointment.  I wanted to wait until the "sad" left my eyes.

I took this picture of myself a couple of months ago.

I wondered if my eyes would tell too much of my heart....maybe you don't see it.  Maybe you didn't see it.

That's ok.

Only a couple of people knew vaguely about my struggle and it's probably because it was tough for even me to define.

Today I praise God because the cloud is lifting and I've been given a fresh realization of who He is and how He is at work in and around me.  I thank Him for the many times He gave me the power to live beyond my circumstances and do the work He has called me to do - in my home, in my church.  I'm grateful that even though the waters felt deep, I did not drown.  I am not drowning.

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; 

       my hope comes from him.

  He alone is my rock and my salvation; 

       he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

  My salvation and my honor depend on God; 

       he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

  Trust in him at all times, O people; 

       pour out your hearts to him, 

       for God is our refuge. 

       Selah

       psalm 62:5-8

it's ok to miss church

3 am, Saturday night: my first born woke me with a weak voice, "mom?"
And so began our hourly rendez-vous. Me holding her hair back and her being sick over and over again.  poor sweetie.

As Sunday morning got closer and closer I tried to figure out what we would do about church.  As the Worship Director, I had the choir to lead.... My husband, an Associate Pastor said he could miss, his responsibilities were less.  We agreed I would go for the morning and then come home and tag off so he could go back to the church for the annual meeting.  (These are the days I think we should live across the street from 760 Charleswood Road...)  We also agreed I could leave the other 2 kiddies at home for the morning, to take some of the pressure off (for me).  Then we decided that the Young Families group we normally host on Sunday evenings would also be cancelled, so no other children would be exposed to this flu bug!

So what was going to be a very full day ended up being a very quiet day.  After I got home, Gavin left for the meeting and then went straight to a buddy's house to watch the Olympic hockey game (yay, Canada!).  The kids and I lazed around, napped a little and had more "screens" than we would normally allow.  It was lovely!

Upon realizing that our group wasn't coming over, my son lamented, "I miss church!"

This warmed my heart so deeply because as parents in ministry, my husband and I pray that our children won't see church as "the place dad & mom work and pay no attention to us!"  You hear the many, many stories about preacher's kids going wayward, and I've always wondered if it's because the kids thought the church was more important than they were. 

It made me think that it's not a bad thing to miss church.  Sometimes it takes one Sunday.  For others it may take much longer to really miss going.  But there's something so precious about going to a place where everyone is just like you.  The kids don't stick out for being different than their school friends or neighbours, the adults don't feel under attack for their faith.  The lonely and hurting are surrounded by people who love them and care about them. The rejoicing have someone to tell.

And for one hour (or more!), we worship and learn together.

Members of one body.  United by our love and devotion to Christ, no matter where we are on the journey.  Part of the larger Church spread throughout the world, part of God's Kingdom - in the now and 'not yet.' 

When church operates as it should, needs are met, people grow and lives are changed.  Each of us can take responsibility for making sure this happens in our own faith community!

There have been times where church every Sunday has felt like a burden I had no interest in bearing, but God's Word says:

"God sets the lonely in families."

Psalm 68:6

I'm reminded that I need to let my church be family to me - not to keep people at arms length but to reach out and become invested in others.  To let them become invested in me.

"From [Jesus] the whole body,

joined and held together by every supporting ligament,

grows and builds itself up in love,

as each part does its work."

Ephesians 4:16