revival

It's been many months of living life without feeling compelled at all to write anything in this space.  Some sweet friends have asked about it, and I can't tell you how much it means to me that you would even ask - you know who you are!

So this morning I am here.

I drove my husband to work and as I made the very short drive home, I heard a particular song on our local Christian radio station.  Don't you love it when you've heard a song a million times and it's never even registered in your brain, and then one day...  I heard the song and as I revelled in the truth of it in my life, I also began to think about how it could be effective with a group of recovering addicts that I get to sing with every so often.  I came home and found the music online so I could try it out.  As I watched the music print, something began to stir in me.  Something that hasn't stirred in too long. (not shaken or stirred - haha, do you get the 007 reference?  ....i've never even seen the movie, why that come to mind?...)

but I digress....

I grabbed the music from the printer and grabbed a big stack of paper that had been silent and sat down.  As I began to play and sing, the release came.  The funny thing is, I play and sing all the time.  It's kinda my job to do so!  But this playing, this singing is different.  This is personal and so often where the Spirit speaks to me.  And yet, the music has stayed neatly stacked and the keys have remained silent.  So many days I've felt "bored" and looked at those keys and then walked away.  But this time, even as I sat down I knew it would be different.  It would be different by being the same as it had been so many times before.

I sang and played and waited.

I waited for what the Lord wanted to me to hear.  And then it came.  A couple of lines in a song I learned last fall when Hillsong released a new album.

I'll walk through the fire with my head lifted high

And my spirit revived in Your story

I'll look to the cross as my failure is lost

In the light of Your glory and grace

Now, I wouldn't consider myself as one walking through the fire, but I can tell you I've felt as grey as the sky is today.  Last week I searched the Word for verses related to "revive" and "restore" as I waited for the cloud to lift.  (Look! Ps 85:6; Isa 58:12; Ps 51:12; 1 Pet 5:10)  There is Truth and comfort in the Word.  Isaiah 57:14-15 gives such a great reminder that I need to get the obstacles out of the way as I wait.

 And it will be said:

“Build up, build up, prepare the road!

    Remove the obstacles out of the way of my people.”

 

For this is what the high and exalted One says—

    he who lives forever, whose name is holy:

“I live in a high and holy place,

    but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit,

to revive the spirit of the lowly

    and to revive the heart of the contrite.

He is a God who cares about the "grey" and He desires for me to be full of His light.

Restore us, O God;

    make your face shine on us,

    that we may be saved.

Psalm 80:3

So that song - it reminded me that I am not revived because I suddenly have a burst of energy or have had a good laugh (or cry).  I'm revived in His story.  Can you just sit back and think for a moment about the fact that YOU get to be part of His story?  That before the creation of the world, He saw the very role YOU would play in His grand production? (Eph 1:4; 1 Pet 1:20)

And I was reminded that there is nothing more that God needs to do to "prove" how much He loves me.  "I look to the cross and my failure is lost."  Oh, what joy to think that I would forget, lose the memory and sting of how I've failed, by fixing my eyes on the cross of Christ.  That's what He paid for!

So here's the song for you to listen to, if you've made it to the end of this post. :)  But don't forget to open the Word today, dear friend.

The unfolding of your words gives light;

    it gives understanding to the simple.

Psalm 119:130

modest

I like clothes.
And I like to look nice.
I'm pretty sure I've always been like that.

My grandma has a picture in her collection of me and my cousin standing together the year we coincidentally ended up with very similar swimsuits.  We were probably around 9 or 10, and while we were both very much "children" in our appearance, one of us was standing like a regular kid and the other was posing like (what she thought was) a super model.

I'll let you guess which was which...

I've always cared about my appearance and my clothes - sometimes too much.  In the last number of years, however, I've thought a lot more about modesty.  I certainly went through a phase where modesty was of no concern to me, but as I've gotten a little older and watched the styles and trends change; as have had two daughters of my own, modesty has been something I've spent more time considering.  Why is modesty important?  Who is modesty for?  What does modesty look like?

Last summer at teen camp, my husband asked me to speak to the girls about godly sexuality, and modesty again came to mind.  Today I was reminded of some of things the Lord taught me in preparing for that talk.  A facebook friend/relative of mine posted a link to an article written by Sharon Hodde Miller for Relavant magazine which also included another link to a separate article she had written for her-meneuntics (a division of Christianity Today).
[click the links to read both articles]

Let me just say, this lady and I are of one mind!

As I read (and "amen-ed") these two pieces, I thought of my seven year old daughter.  This girl cares about her personal style.  She likes colourful dresses and fun tshirts, and she loves to be complimented on her outfit!  As a toddler, she was the one who could be seen twirling her skirt for the attention it brought her.  More than once I wondered about the fashion choices she would want to make as a teen....

she's poser - just like her mom!

I'm not sure when I first introduced the idea of modesty to her.  I don't remember it being intentional.  But at some point the word came out and the concept must have been explained, because she knows what it means.  As we watched the red carpet for the Oscars together (doesn't everyone do that with their 7 yr old?), she had much to say about the dresses she admired!

What made my heart swell at the time was that she wasn't judgemental of the choices the actresses had made, she showed discernment.  "oh, her dress is such a pretty colour and I love the way it ruffles in the back," she would say, "but it probably is a little immodest at the front top part...."

It makes me think.  Here is a girl who doesn't yet understand the feeling of power a young woman can feel by dressing in a way that makes boys swoon (which is sweet way of saying something that likely isn't sweet).  She's learning to assess outfits and choices based on whether or not it's appropriate for her and honouring to God.  Maybe she doesn't think it exactly in those terms, but she is thinking.

I want modesty for my daughters, but I don't want it for them if it means they think their bodies are bad or dirty or irreverant just because they're female.  I want my girls to honour the bodies God has made for them by feeding them well, exercising them for health, and dressing them appropriately - so that they are fit (in all senses of the word) for the things God is calling them to do.

I want this for myself too, and for all women.  Let us offer our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God. This is our spiritual act of worship. (Rom 12:1)  And may we be motivated by love for our loving Creator and a desire to serve and please Him.

faith in the faithful One

In case you need a reminder today, 

here's our precious first born at 2 years old singing 

"Faithful One."

Perfect truth from the mouth of a baby.

Thank You, Lord

bright spot

it has been very cold up here in our little part of the world.

very.
cold.

like -45˚C (-49˚F) with the windchill kind of cold.

like the kind of weather many americans think we have all the time and that we're used to because we live in igloos, but that we're NOT used to, and we really dislike, no matter how tough we try to act about it!

car parts fall off.  yes, that happened to us this week.

house pipes freeze.  yes, that happened to friends this week.

exposed skin freezes in seconds so children stay indoors for days at a time. (and have a LOT of pent up energy.)

it's rough.

but there's one marvel that only happens in weather like this.

sundogs.

here's the wiki definition of a sundog, if you don't know (or if your kids have been asking and you just now remembered to look it up):

Sundogs are made commonly of plate-shaped hexagonal ice crystals in high and cold cirrus clouds or, during very cold weather, by ice crystals called diamond dust drifting in the air at low levels. These crystals act as prisms, bending the light rays passing through them with a minimum deflection of 22°. If the crystals are randomly oriented, a complete ring around the sun is seen — a halo. But often, as the crystals sink through the air they become vertically aligned, so sunlight is refracted horizontally — in this case, sundogs are seen.

sundogs are a beautiful phenomenon and always a delight to spot.  this morning i pulled back the curtains and saw the sundogs rising with the sun... there's something i've never in my 37 years seen before!

one of the sundogs

i couldn't get a good picture of the sun and it's two "dogs" because it was too close and too low and i certainly was NOT going outside to take a picture!

but here's a picture my friend took driving home from the northern US through the flat plains of north dakota:

it can be hard to find good in these cold days that can be such a bother, but this morning those sundogs were a gift.  a reminder that God is in the freezing cold, and creating beauty within.  after being "laid up" for 2 days with my silly back, it was just the reminder that i needed.  sometimes i need to be slowed down, stopped even, to see the greatness of my God.  sometimes it takes the struggle for us to start earnestly seeking the face of the Lord and finding true delight when we catch that little glimpse.

yes, there is a bright spot today, two in fact! one on either side of the sun.

a gift.

Psalm 136:1-8

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.

His love endures forever.

Give thanks to the God of gods.

His love endures forever.

Give thanks to the Lord of lords:

His love endures forever.

to him who alone does great wonders,

His love endures forever.

who by his understanding made the heavens,

His love endures forever.

who spread out the earth upon the waters,

His love endures forever. 

who made the great lights—

His love endures forever.

the sun to govern the day, 

His love endures forever.

Can you find a bright spot to this day? 

hope in the mail

A great surprise

(though I did order it...)

on a cold winter afternoon

of catching up on rest and household duties.

 Sevenly.org is the maker of this cozy sweatshirt, and

money from its purchase goes to 

Living Water International

to help provide clean drinking water to places that need it

and share the Good News of Christ-

the true Living Water.

(apparently sweatshirts are my new thing!) 

The warmth of this garment reminds me of the warm love

of my Saviour, and the words written across it

~hope runs deep~

remind me to never give up.

"Yes, my soul, find rest in God;

my hope comes from him."

Psalm 62:5

boot straps

it looks like these have bootstraps-
they're faux! ;)

None of my boots actually have straps, but I come from a long line of women who are skilled at pulling themselves up by them, figuratively speaking.

I relied heavily on that fact this morning when I flopped in front of the computer this morning, waiting for my coffee to brew having sent the kids off to school.  I surfed facebook and my google reader list as I often do in that time slot.  This morning I was a little extra tired after a very long (but great) day of ministry. (man, I love my job!)  As I read blogs and status updates that I usually enjoy and find encouraging and inspiring, some unwelcome feelings began to rise up in my spirit -  discouragement. disappointment. dissatisfaction.

Hovering over another blog title, spirit sagging, I heard the Still Small Voice: "turn it off."

I hovered a moment longer.  Why should I shut it off, it won't change anything...

turn. it. off.

I mustered up my resolve to live by the Spirit, yanked up those figurative bootstraps and obeyed.  I stumbled off up the stairs, poured my coffee and praised God for giving me the capacity to do the hard thing when I could have (and have in the past) easily given in to feeling sorry for myself, and looking at my life through the lens of how other people live.

Have you noticed the new verse I've chosen as a subtitle to the new look of the blog?  This is my prayer for the new year, a verse of the year(ish) that the Lord showed me in Decemeber.

"As the Spirit of the Lord works within us, 

we become more and more like him 

and reflect his glory even more." 

2 Corinthians 3:18 nlt

Hearing the Voice, saying YES and moving forward - to reflect His glory. 

Do you have a verse for this year?

yes

So I've been reading Ann Voskamp's book 1000 Gifts.  This book is unlike anything I've ever read before!  It is challenging, but not threatening; encouraging but not patronizing.  It is one woman's journey and yet it could be every person's journey if they so chose.

Our Bible study group is supposed to be reading chapter 10 this week, but I've been having a hard time letting go of chapter 8.  (By that I mean I've only read half of chapter 9 and even what I've read I've barely retained because I keep thinking about her words on the previous pages.)

I thought maybe if I shared what the Lord has been whispering to me with YOU, I might be able to move on - and get the rest of my reading done by Wednesday morning!

I'm not going to give any context here - if you want it, go get the book (or put it on your Christmas list, you won't regret it!).  Here is the quote that begins with a verse:

"For no matter how many promises God has made, they are 'Yes' in Christ"
 (2 Corinthians 1:20)
   Yes in Christ!
   To the Enfleshed Yes [Jesus] who said yes to this moment and yes to last year's illness and yes to the cracks of my childhood and yes to the nail and yes to my name in the Book of Life, hear me say YES!  Not "I'm worried." Not "I'm stressed out."  Not "I'm anxious."  Not "I'm too afraid."  Hear me say thank you.  Hear me say YES!  Watch me live a life of yes.  To all that was and is and is to come.  The power of sin and death and fear-sent-from-the-Enemy are forever ended because we can trust in the bridge even if it's caving, in God even when it's black, in manna-nourishment even when we don't know what it is.  The God whom we thank for fulfilling the promises of the past will fulfill His promises again.  In Christ, the answer to the questions of every moment is always Yes.
  The answer is always YES!

It reminded me of a time when God called our little family to say Yes to the unknown future.  When He asked if we would be obedient to Him even if we didn't know where we would go, what we would do, how we would survive.  It reminded me of the song He used to bring us to our knees in submission to His will for our life.

The song is Yes.

And today I look back and I see that the answers to His promises then were indeed yes - for our good, for His glory.

And today I hear Him ask me again - will you say YES?

Will you let go of yourself and your plans and your idea of what is good and appropriate and deserved and simply say yes to what I have in store for you?  Will you give Me the opportunity to show you all the yes-es to My promises?   I will never leave you.  I will never forsake you.  Do not be afraid.  Just say...YES.

How are you saying YES to God?

it's just me

every once in a while a strange thing happens to me.  i forget who i am.

my husband brought home this beautiful box of mandarine oranges,

and as i opened the box and saw all those perfect pieces of red tissue paper, i thought, i should craft something out of those papers!

and then i saw the solid cardboard base of the box and thought, i should mod-podge that and use it for...something.

and then i remembered - that's not something i would ever do.  that is simply not who i am!

as i laughed and laughed (to myself, at myself) i thought about how bizarre it is that i would even think about doing those things...

i thought about how i guess i'm not always who i thought i'd be "when i grew up."

i considered how i'm still surprised at how uncomfortable i am in social settings - i really thought i'd grow out that!

i wondered about how i became the kind of mom that (sometimes) bakes bread and (mostly) cooks from scratch, considering i wasn't really in to those things growing up.

i marveled again at the gift of my role in our church, the fun and challenge of serving, the joy of doing pre-marriage counseling (when our early years of marriage at times felt like an absolute disaster!).

God had a plan for me, a design for who i could become under His hand, and as long as i don't bother myself with comparison, i can like who i am.  imperfect, with lots of room to grow but uniquely me.  so what if i do things a little differently than others, or don't do really cool things that other really cool friends can do?  my only desire is to hear the voice of the Lord and do what He calls me to do.

it's just me.  some people will like me, some will not.  but my sense of approval and self-worth must come from Him alone.

Can we just embrace who God is creating us to be today?

The Lord will work out his plans for my life—

    for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. 

   Don’t abandon me, for you made me.

psalm 138:8 nlt

my shield

Last week I was flipping through the catalogue that came with a book delivery and saw an item that caught my eye.  It was an armor of God playset, that included:

• Helmet of Salvation with movable visor
• Breastplate of Righteousness with adjustable straps
• "Shin Guards" of Peace that adjust to fit
• Belt of Truth with adjustable Velcro closure
• Spirit-of-the-Word Sword--the right size for little hands
• Shield of Faith has easy-to-grip handle
• Faith Parenting Guide with suggested activities and Scripture

The descriptions alone could get you chuckling.  Belt of Truth with adjustable closure?  That'll come in handy around thanksgiving! 

I'm thinking of getting this for my little nephew, because the thought of him running around the house in this gear, and describing each part in his sweet way, brings a smile to my face.  He's just like his dad (my big brother)!

But how 'bout that Shield of Faith with the easy-to-grip handle?  That sounds pretty good too, right?

Today I was reading in the Psalms and came across 3:3 where it describes the Lord as my shield.  Then as I continued to read, there it was again in 5:11-12 and 7:10.  And that's just in the first 7 chapters.  I know there's even more than that!  

When I think of the Lord as my Shield, I picture Him standing in front of me, arms stretched out, ready to block.  I picture Him facing me, reassuring me that He's got this covered.  Do not worry.  Just like a friend (or big brother) protecting you in a snowball fight, the Lord is blocking the fiery arrows of the evil one (eph 6:16).

It occurred to me that if there is something in my life that I feel like is too much for me to handle, it's that thing that my Shield allowed past.  Not because He dropped His arms for a moment, but because He knew that together we could take it.  It won't be a stroll in the park, it will be work.  It will be struggle.  But with His help and His loving protection, after we've done everything, we will be left standing (eph 6:10-18).

Today I remind myself - put on the armor.  

Grab hold of that easy-to-grip hand(le) of the Shield.  

We are ready!

no greater love

every day i check my email.

i'm sure you do, too.

whether sitting with coffee at my home desktop computer, at the church office with my laptop or on the go with my smart phone - i stay connected as best i can.  i check my email.

many people have talked about the drawbacks of technology.  it's a time drain, or it's impersonal, or whatever.  i say, 'it works for me!'

sure it can be annoying when you open your email account ("you've got mail!") and it's full of ads and spam.  but tucked into the ads, there are stories.  pictures of a far-away friend's new baby.  a note from someone encouraging you.  updates and reminders that you rely upon.  and within those daily emails there are often requests for prayer & proclamations of praise.

today as i sifted through the junk mail (on one of those good days where my coffee is near by), i came across more of the same, but there was something that stood out as different.  prayer chain requests for healing and hope sandwiched around an ad from a website i like to frequent.  the subject line said:

"no greater love than Jesus"

it linked me through to dayspring.com (LOVE dayspring!) where they were previewing a new line of Christmas product, but that subject line stood out to me as though it were a bigger, bolder font than all the rest...

"no greater love than Jesus"

so many people hurting and broken and needing answers to their deepest needs.  walking through deep waters of confusion, grief, and disappointment.  asking for prayer and asking for hope....

"no greater love than Jesus"

even for me - as i struggle through a trial i didn't expect or ask for, wishing it would just go away...

"no greater love than Jesus"

i was reminded by a friend speaking at a women's retreat i went to this past weekend, that everything we need and hope for was already met in this:

"God demonstrates his own love for us in this: 

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Romans 5:8

~God do you see me? Do you see what's happening down here?

"God demonstrates his own love for us in this: 

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

~God can you hear me? Are my prayers stopping at the ceiling?  

"God demonstrates his own love for us in this: 

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

~God do you love me?  Do you care?

"God demonstrates his own love for us in this: 

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Christ died and rose again.  There is hope.  God loved me even before i loved Him.  There is peace.

There is no greater love than Jesus.

He is everything we need.

(so technology can't be all bad, am i right?)

go team!

I had to run to the grocery store (for the 50 jillionth time this week) to bake cookies for next week, and as I drove the familiar route, I noticed quite a sight to behold.

It's not the first time I've witnessed this sight, but it's close to the last.

You see, we live very close to the football stadium (until the new one is finished being built) and so on a warm summer evening like tonight, the streets are filled with people walking toward the big game.

I smiled to myself as I saw car loads of people empty out like circus clowns all wearing their Winnipeg Blue Bombers tshirts and hats and jerseys.  I saw people walking in pairs from every direction sporting their team gear - even one guy that had his head shaved with our team logo painted onto it!

It reminded me of the explanation my husband gave the campers at Children's Camp last week about baptism.  He told the kids that to make the public stand of being baptized is like wearing a team jersey, telling the world "I'm with Jesus!"  As we walked onto the beach that evening and three young people were lead into the lake to profess Jesus as the Lord of their life, the image of putting on the jersey played around in my mind.

And tonight as I saw people laughing and walking with determination to the football field, my imagination began to run wild with this picture.

Like, what if we really did wear a jersey all the time to proclaim that we are with Jesus?  Would it change the way we interact we strangers?  Or our family?

How cool would it be to see the jerseys around and know you have something very special in common with people you don't even know?  Like that feeling you get when you see someone in the Mall of America with a Jets tshirt on? (that happened to us earlier this week!)

What about all the people who faithfully gather to watch games, either live or on tv, with friends and family - all the while enjoying the game more because of who they're with?

(this is Cass dressed in Duke gear when
we lived a block off campus!)

And then I thought about how super-fans of a team will get tiny baby jerseys and put them on their infants who somehow grow up to be fans themselves. Are we dressing our kids in lives that claim Jesus as Lord?

Truth be told, I don't know if tonight's Bomber game is over, or who won (or who the Bombers were even playing, for that matter), but it's fun to think about wearing the team jersey for Jesus.
Put it on, friends!

Galatians 3:27 ~ 

"for all of you who were baptized into Christ 

have clothed yourselves with Christ. 

life

when did this become my life?

...a question i've asked myself a time or two.

usually it's at a time where the kids are fighting,

a toilet is overflowing,

the stresses are mounting...

but today i asked myself this question out of delight,

pleasure,

joy.

i actually got up early for QT this morning.  

i wish i were a little more regular with that, 

but nevertheless

TODAY

i got up and enjoyed the sunshine and the Word.

via

after the kids left for school

(and G for the church),

i set about the weekly house cleaning.

everything spic-and-span makes me feel at peace.

i even vacuumed the entire carpet of the boy's room without sucking up a single piece of lego!

who knew that was even possible?

a shower, a light lunch and an episode of sarah 101.

a bike ride to the fabric store to buy burlap.

(a pinner i follow has been posting so many things you can make with burlap!)

did you know it only costs $1.99?

i didn't - happy surprise!

home again, coffee's on, grab my book and head out to the sunshine.

as i stepped toward the shed to put away my bike

two lovely butterflies chased each other around my head.

i actually questioned out loud,

"seriously?"

and as i looked around to see if anyone had heard me talking to myself, i marveled at this day.

when did this become my life?

{thank You Lord for a good day of refreshment.

thank You for all the days You've prepared for me -

i'll thank You now, just in case i don't have the strength 

at the time.}

"when times are good, be happy; 

when times are bad, consider this:

God has made the one as well as the other."

ecclesiates 7:14

nostalgia

source

for whatever reason, this morning i woke up feeling very nostalgic.  (maybe it was the fact that i had an awesome sleep, and the kids didn't get up until almost 10am! thankyouverymuch spring break...)

as i (finally) got ready to come into the church to work, i put on the necklace Gavin gave me for our first anniversary and i remembered that first year of marriage.  it wasn't easy, but there was so much fun!  i remembered how happy he was to give it to me and how he actually ended up putting it on my neck a full 2 months before our special day, just because he wanted me to have it.

as i carefully untangled it (no, my jewelery is not super-organized) i remember how as a little girl, i always took my tangled necklaces to my dad and he always was able to make them straight.  there's a tiny knot in the chain i'm wearing today, perhaps i should take it to him....  i always used to marvel at his thick, rough fingers were able to do such delicate work.

as i looked through a friend's facebook photos of their experience taking young adults to Passion Vancouver, i started to feel all excited inside as i remembered all the fun we had in Atlanta and the awesome experience of worshipping with so many people.  i think of it every time i listen to the new album that was recorded during the conference.  i jokingly tell people that i can totally hear my voice on a few of the songs....

even more, as i looked on the faces of these friends, i remember how we met them very early in our time in Durham, NC.  i thought about how the Lord brought us to that state and how He brought us to that little church where He introduced us to this sweet family from our home town - only the Lord!  and for all the 'trouble' with facebook (the potential for time-sucking and the depressive feelings that can occur) this is one of those times where the Lord can really use it.  what an amazing blessing to know how He's continuing to use and move in the lives of people.  what a beautiful gift to see people I know, even if just for a little while, use their talents for His kingdom.  

my heart feels so mushy today....but this is exactly what i needed for this day.

i prayed and asked the Lord for inspiration this morning as i'm sitting down to get (hopefully) most of my prep done for the Easter weekend.  this nostalgic is the answer to that prayer, i'm certain.  soft feelings of recollection are exactly where i need to begin as i reflect on the days leading up to the Lord's last time around the table with His friends.  a tender heart is what i need to take me to a place of vivid imagination as i consider the day my Lord was hung on the cross.  and this buzzing of excitement is just what i want to feel as i think about the day His friends found the empty tomb - when the light began to dawn on them, when they saw a glimpse of what this meant...

look back, my friends - it can give you what you need today to look forward.

lies

I've just finished week 3 of my homework for "James, Mercy Triumphs" by Beth Moore.  The study has been really good, as have the group discussion times and the dvd talks by Beth.  I must confess, though, that I haven't really felt anything major - am I the only one who comes to a Bible study hoping to have my world rocked?

I hadn't that is, until day 2 of week 3.

How many times have I asked myself "Why?"  Why can't I control my ________?  Why can't I resist ______?  Why do I seem to forget what God has shown me in His Word?  Why do I continue to fail in the same areas? Why isn't this working for me?

(that's so many 'whys' now, that it doesn't even look like a real word when I type it....)

Day 2 of week 3 answered my question, and asked me to draw a picture.

James 1:23-24 - 

"Anyone who listens to the word and does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror, and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like."

Is this really true of me?

Beth somehow - by God's grace - spoke just to me when she wrote:

"We can underline our Bibles till our pens run dry without a drop of ink splattering our lives.  The self-deception slithers in when we mistake appreciation for application or being touched with being changed." (p78)

My Bible is full of underlining - particularly for my areas of struggle.  Anything related to these things is underlined, highlighted, and sometimes starred!  Any yet, I'm not experiencing the victory I thought I would, or could.

self-deception.

How am I lying to myself?  And how is that keeping me from the life I desire, the life God desires?

I have told myself that knowing and reading the Word will change me.  I nod knowingly when I hear a scripture through which the Lord has spoken to me.  Oh, I know that one,  I think to myself, that one says it so well. And then I walk away and forget.

"The Word of God, however, is meant to do more than penetrate.  It's meant to activate." (p 78)

I have a very poor memory - people close to me can attest to that.  I have said that maybe that was the problem.  I do forget - because I'm just a forgetful person, is what I'd tell you!  

And yet, through this study the Lord spoke to my heart saying that was a lie.  It's not that I'm forgetful, or that I choose not to remember.  It's that I've allowed myself to be deceived into thinking that if the Lord really wanted me to change, He wouldn't let me rest until I gave into Him.  That He would do whatever it took until I experienced victory.

Leaving me, of course, as the passer-by in a sense.  The one who passively accepts the Lord's movement in my life.  It seems almost extra-righteous to think that I'm just waiting on the Lord to change my mind and my heart so much that my actions will (magically) follow.  I've been inspired by the Word, I'm just waiting for the Lord to do the rest....

"Simply put, the Word was meant to work. And, through it, we were meant to bear fruit." (pp 78-79)

I am to bear fruit - that's my part.  Not as a way of earning God's love or salvation, but as a response to the truth He brings into my life!

It reminds me of a time that I devoted myself to getting up early every, every day.  For the first two weeks, every morning when the alarm went off and my bed felt too warm to leave, I would repeat to myself:

"this is what discipline looks like, this is what discipline looks like..."

I can hear the prompting of the Lord to change an attitude or behaviour, but if I don't exercise the discipline to follow through, I am that person looking in the mirror.  I walk away and forget what I look like.  I walk away and forget that I'm a bearer of the very image of God, created for a life of victory in and through Jesus.  Not just once, at salvation, but every day - by His grace.  

But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it - not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it - they will be blessed in what they do.

James 1:25

"It's not until the hearing turns into DOING that believing leads to BLESSING." (p 79)

How does this rock your world today?  

encouraged

we snuggled into story time together,

cass & i,

and i thought we would simply have some quality cuddling while accomplishing her daily reading goal.

the Lord had another idea.

as we turned the page to this picture:

my sweet child said, 'oh mommy, that looks like you!  she has her coffee, she's reading her bible in the morning... just like you!'

my heart skipped a little beat of praise and thanksgiving 

for this child has started more days of her six and a half years NOT seeing her mom

with her coffee...

reading her bible...

and yet, she still identified the picture with me.

talk about a kick-in-the-pants!

i never, NEVER want that image to change.

as she grows, the more she sees me like this,

the more she'll assume it is

"normal"

to be that kind of woman.

what a lovely way to be reminded!

Deuteronomy 6:5-7

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁵ And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. ⁶ And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. ⁷ Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.

harmony

I don't spend too much time thinking about classical music these days.  The contemporary worship that is part of my daily life and ministry doesn't directly have much to do with Beethoven, Shumann or Liszt, and so the things I studied and practiced for the first twelve years of my music 'career' don't often come to mind.

But today as I was reading in Romans 14, it occurred to me that the Kingdom of God is like a Three-Part Invention by J.S. Bach.

Paul goes on at great length about the danger of criticism; the danger of thinking you have all the answers, spiritually, and other people need to just "get with the program."  He warns against flaunting your freedom or looking down on others because they do things differently.  He suggests withholding your rights for the benefit of the believer next to you who might be confused by your actions.  "If you serve Christ with this attitude, you will please God." (v18)

Two- and Three-Part Inventions are tricky to play. (Truth-be-told, I could never play a Three-Part Invention well!)  These types of pieces were composed more as an exercise than for their melodic sound, because it requires the pianist to give opportunity to 3 separate voices, working together, flowing in and through and around each other.  A Two Part Invention works a little easier, because the two parts come from your two hands, though it takes practice to have them work so independently of each other.  For 3 parts, each hand has their own part and then on top of that, they share the work of the third part.  The musician who can play this well (that would not be me), can give a strong voice to each part when it is their turn to play the lead while the other parts take a back seat, but are still supporting.

"So then let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up." (v19)

The disciplined disciple is sensitive to the needs and feelings of others and desires to see them flourish in their walk with the Lord.  It means not pushing our own ideas, insisting that our way is the only way.  It means extending grace to others and being willing to learn from others (for perhaps, they are also extending grace to you!).  The individual's relationship with the Lord is very personal - which is why we hold such deep convictions about the things the Lord has revealed to us; which is why it is hard to understand where someone else is coming from.  

When I was a teen figuring out my faith, I honestly believed that if every Christian (true Christ follower) just really prayed and sought God's will, we would all come to the same conclusion and the Church would be universally unified.  Scripture is clear that this will not be the case in the Kingdom of now-and-not-yet.  "Who are you to condemn God's servants? They are responsible to the Lord, so let him tell them whether they are right or wrong. The Lord's power will help them do as they should."  (v4)

Part of being in the Church on this earth requires the skill and practice that it takes to play Three-Part Invention: knowing when to step forward and when to make room for others to step forward, and in doing so, we can "join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God." (15:6)

"So accept each other just as Christ has accepted you;

then God will be glorified."

(15:7)

ezekiel

i have a tattered piece of paper that has been travelling around in my purse, bible and work bag for the last couple of months.  it has on it 3 verses that i scribbled down as i was reading in ezekiel  in my nlt worship bible. 
everytime i come across this scrap page, i am encouraged.

thought you might like some encouragement today, too.

"See I care about you, and I will pay attention to you."
ezek 36:9 

" And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you.  I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, repsonsive heart."
ezek 36:26

 

"I will make my home among them.  I will be their God and they will be my people."
ezek 37:7
 

Today

My long-time friend Sherri posted "Today" - an idea she got from another blog.  I thought I'd join in the fun since it's been so long since I posted and feel like I'm not sure where to start.

I'll start TODAY.

Today I went to take my 3 kids to their first day of school, out for breakfast and shopping hand-in-hand with my husband.
Today I hoped my daughter's first day of middle school would be a success in her eyes, and that our children would each feel loved and secure.
Today I dreamed the my eldest would thrive and grow, but not leave me in the dust.
Today I forgot how quickly time flies and how kids are individual people with their own feelings and thoughts.
Today I heard my husband tell me he loves me and is proud of who I am.
Today I read over the talk I'm giving at a women's retreat tomorrow.
Today I watched Nate Berkus while I painted my toenails - just because I could! :)
Today I said "trust in the Lord in all your ways and don't lean on your own understanding."
Today I believed that they would all be ok, no matter what.  Today I trusted in God, condition-free.
Today I felt anxious and tender-hearted.
Today I wondered if I would always feel this content.
Today I bought a new top to wear at the retreat.  My husband said it looked great on me.
Today I cleaned as little as possible.  When mom's away the house falls apart so why fight it?
Today I created a plan for an after-first-day-of-school celebration.
Today I laughed a little and cried a little - and it's only lunch time!

Who are you today?


Have a blessed weekend!

not just for easter

We showed this video at church on Easter Sunday and then sang the song...I read around blog land at the time that many others had the same special experience that morning. 

But as my husband showed it to a group of teens at camp this week I was reminded again that this message isn't just for Easter, it is my life breath each day.  "The resurrection is the sermon I need to preach to myself every day," my friend shared one morning.

"I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection..." Phil 3:10a

"And if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, then He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of His Spirit who lives in you." Rom 8:11

As a follower of Christ, I long for the victory that having "fellowship in his suffering" brings! I want to rise each morning, renewed and refreshed - AWAKE - to what God has for me, and ready to receive His power to accomplish it.

Because I am His and He is mine.

in case you're wondering....

I'm in one of those pathetic "funks" that causes me 

to tell myself NO ONE is wondering, but in case you are...

I'm still among the living even though it's been two weeks since I last posted here.  

Perhaps you've imagined that I went through with my desire to heist the

beauties from camp that I photographed and have now been in "the clink" for 14 days...

not so.  (not this time.)

I have been back at camp, though, this time in the kitchen baking up a storm.

It was a challenge, but in a really good, life-giving kind of way.

I really do enjoy working with my hands,

even when they ache by the end of the day.

This back-and-forth to camp has been really hard for me this year.

Maybe it's my age...

do people really struggle this much in the second half of the 30s?

dislike.

Anyway, as I've been catching up on all the fun blog posts I've missed in the last week, 

I've begun to sink a little....alot.

Perhaps I should have done this after I was little better rested.

If you're reading this, I probably don't need to explain why and what I mean.

so i won't.

If you're reading this, you will understand why Lysa Terkeurst's post spoke to my heart 

as though the Lord Himself reached across and took my hand,

gently patting it and reminding me of His endless love and approval of me,

just the way He made me.

If you're struggling like I am, maybe you want to head over for some good encouragement,

and the challenge to "get prayed up" today.

source

Go on over and have a cup of coffee with Lysa at:

Brutally Honest -Lysa Terkeurst