What to do.

I wrote this post in the afternoon, sitting alone and pensive in starbucks while I waited for my daughter.  After I picked her up, we went straight to our young families small group where I continued to question myself in yet another crucial area of life - parenting.  But I found hope for every area of my life... stay tuned until the post script.

~*~ 

Everyone has things they are good at. Areas in which they excel.

Everyone has things they are not so good at. Areas that require growth.

This is not new Information. I don't have to type it on this blog for you to know that it's the truth.

I have asked myself the question before: "would I give up something about myself that I like to replace something I don't like?" For I truly believe that when we want to change something about ourselves - even something as basic as our body shape- we don't always want to give up our "best feature" to replace it with the whole package of another. We want both. We want it all.

There is a quality in myself that I'm growing to really dislike. Not a physical thing, a behavior... or maybe it would be called a personality thing.

My flaw (as we can call it) has hurt people. It hurts me. My flaw is not sinful. I wouldn't even say its selfish, exactly....though some might call it that. But I think it has been a source of pain for people I care about. (or maybe I'm kidding myself, placing too much value on myself.)

There is no bible verse that directly speaks to this area; no specific steps to overcome. But there are people who are gifted in my area of weakness. I guess I can try and learn from them, try and force what seems to come easily for them.

A little bit more.

I won't do things as well as others, I won't always know what to do or say, but I can try in my own way. I can let go the insecurities that hold me back and follow through.

Bit by bit....
With imperfection.....

And the help of the Lord.

 ~*~

p.s.

The last discussion question of our small group series suggested we memorize a couple of verses.  My jaw dropped as I read them and realized they were just for me! (yes, I'm sure the other parents in the room could benefit from them, but I just know they're for me, the answer to all of the above questions.)

from the Message:

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

 

"He told me: my grace is enough.  

It's all you need.

My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen.

I quit focusing on the handicap and 

began appreciating the gift.

It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness.

Now I take limitations in stride, and 

with good cheer, 

these limitations that cut me down to size...

I just let Christ take over!

And so the weaker I get,

the stronger I become."

(may I never say again there's "no bible verse" that speaks to any part of my life!)