What to do.

I wrote this post in the afternoon, sitting alone and pensive in starbucks while I waited for my daughter.  After I picked her up, we went straight to our young families small group where I continued to question myself in yet another crucial area of life - parenting.  But I found hope for every area of my life... stay tuned until the post script.

Everyone has things they are good at. Areas in which they excel.

Everyone has things they are not so good at. Areas that require growth.

This is not new Information. I don't have to type it on this blog for you to know that it's the truth.

I have asked myself the question before: "would I give up something about myself that I like to replace something I don't like?" For I truly believe that when we want to change something about ourselves - even something as basic as our body shape- we don't always want to give up our "best feature" to replace it with the whole package of another. We want both. We want it all.

There is a quality in myself that I'm growing to really dislike. Not a physical thing, a behavior... or maybe it would be called a personality thing.

My flaw (as we can call it) has hurt people. It hurts me. My flaw is not sinful. I wouldn't even say its selfish, exactly....though some might call it that. But I think it has been a source of pain for people I care about. (or maybe I'm kidding myself, placing too much value on myself.)

There is no bible verse that directly speaks to this area; no specific steps to overcome. But there are people who are gifted in my area of weakness. I guess I can try and learn from them, try and force what seems to come easily for them.

A little bit more.

I won't do things as well as others, I won't always know what to do or say, but I can try in my own way. I can let go the insecurities that hold me back and follow through.

Bit by bit....
With imperfection.....

And the help of the Lord.
The last discussion question of our small group series suggested we memorize a couple of verses.  My jaw dropped as I read them and realized they were just for me! (yes, I'm sure the other parents in the room could benefit from them, but I just know they're for me, the answer to all of the above questions.)

from the Message:
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
"He told me: my grace is enough.  
It's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen.
I quit focusing on the handicap and 
began appreciating the gift.
It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness.
Now I take limitations in stride, and 
with good cheer, 
these limitations that cut me down to size...
I just let Christ take over!
And so the weaker I get,
the stronger I become."

(may I never say again there's "no bible verse" that speaks to any part of my life!)

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