It's been many months of living life without feeling compelled at all to write anything in this space.  Some sweet friends have asked about it, and I can't tell you how much it means to me that you would even ask - you know who you are!

So this morning I am here.

I drove my husband to work and as I made the very short drive home, I heard a particular song on our local Christian radio station.  Don't you love it when you've heard a song a million times and it's never even registered in your brain, and then one day...  I heard the song and as I revelled in the truth of it in my life, I also began to think about how it could be effective with a group of recovering addicts that I get to sing with every so often.  I came home and found the music online so I could try it out.  As I watched the music print, something began to stir in me.  Something that hasn't stirred in too long. (not shaken or stirred - haha, do you get the 007 reference?  ....i've never even seen the movie, why that come to mind?...)

but I digress....

I grabbed the music from the printer and grabbed a big stack of paper that had been silent and sat down.  As I began to play and sing, the release came.  The funny thing is, I play and sing all the time.  It's kinda my job to do so!  But this playing, this singing is different.  This is personal and so often where the Spirit speaks to me.  And yet, the music has stayed neatly stacked and the keys have remained silent.  So many days I've felt "bored" and looked at those keys and then walked away.  But this time, even as I sat down I knew it would be different.  It would be different by being the same as it had been so many times before.

I sang and played and waited.

I waited for what the Lord wanted to me to hear.  And then it came.  A couple of lines in a song I learned last fall when Hillsong released a new album.

I'll walk through the fire with my head lifted high
And my spirit revived in Your story
I'll look to the cross as my failure is lost
In the light of Your glory and grace

Now, I wouldn't consider myself as one walking through the fire, but I can tell you I've felt as grey as the sky is today.  Last week I searched the Word for verses related to "revive" and "restore" as I waited for the cloud to lift.  (Look! Ps 85:6; Isa 58:12; Ps 51:12; 1 Pet 5:10)  There is Truth and comfort in the Word.  Isaiah 57:14-15 gives such a great reminder that I need to get the obstacles out of the way as I wait.
 And it will be said:
“Build up, build up, prepare the road!

    Remove the obstacles out of the way of my people.”
For this is what the high and exalted One says—
    he who lives forever, whose name is holy:
“I live in a high and holy place,
    but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly
    and to revive the heart of the contrite.

He is a God who cares about the "grey" and He desires for me to be full of His light.

Restore us, O God;
    make your face shine on us,

    that we may be saved.
Psalm 80:3

So that song - it reminded me that I am not revived because I suddenly have a burst of energy or have had a good laugh (or cry).  I'm revived in His story.  Can you just sit back and think for a moment about the fact that YOU get to be part of His story?  That before the creation of the world, He saw the very role YOU would play in His grand production? (Eph 1:4; 1 Pet 1:20)

And I was reminded that there is nothing more that God needs to do to "prove" how much He loves me.  "I look to the cross and my failure is lost."  Oh, what joy to think that I would forget, lose the memory and sting of how I've failed, by fixing my eyes on the cross of Christ.  That's what He paid for!

So here's the song for you to listen to, if you've made it to the end of this post. :)  But don't forget to open the Word today, dear friend.

The unfolding of your words gives light;

    it gives understanding to the simple.

Psalm 119:130

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