go-to outfit

Is it just me, or does everyone have a
go-to outfit?

This is mine: 
jeans, black cardi with black scoop neck underneath 
& pendant with non-discript coloured stone.

This is what I put on this morning when I woke up feeling "blah" and not at all ready to face the day.
This is what I will always put on when my day is going to be extra full and potentially a little stressful.  The jeans aren't the most modern cut and the sweater is not the most flattering, but somehow when I wear this outfit I feel ok about myself.  I don't feel like I'll stand out or fade completely into the background.  I won't draw attention to myself, but I'll have presence when I need it.

Some mornings I wake up and feel bold, ready to take on the world.
Those days I might put on blue, or (gasp!) green!
I may even hunt for an accessory in pink.
Many days I wear grey -  for in grey I feel like I've found the middle ground, the even keel.  Not the black that many find harsh, but not the colours I can't always make myself wear.

I guess what I put on says quite a bit about how I'm feeling....

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, 
holy and dearly loved,
clothe yourself with compassion..."
Colossians 3:12

Lately in my spiritual walk, I've been asking the Lord for more compassion for people.  
I don't think I'm a completely dispassionate person, but I just want to empathize better and see more clearly into the places where people hurt.  
I want my go-to response to people to be one of compassion. 

The guy who cuts me off in traffic....
The lady counting out her pennies in the express checkout...
The friend who dismisses me...
The child who disobeys me....
I want to see people as Jesus sees them!

"Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man..."
Mark 1:41

"Jesus looked at him and loved him..."
Mark 10:21

"The Lord is FULL of compassion and mercy."
James 5:11

Lord, give me the courage to see beyond myself.  Let me weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice.  Give me a heart like Yours, let me see through Your eyes.
For Your glory and Your Kingdom.



They say if you really want to know if you love something too much, try to live without it.  

Well, apparently I have discovered how much I really love my tv.

how sad.

I suspected it was the case, which is why I gave it up for Lent.  

I contemplated whether I was even willing to talk about this because I find it kind of embarassing.  TV? Really?  Plus, I'm a little afraid that by admitting I have given up tv, people will think I must watch it all day, every day.  Let me assure you, that is simply not so!  I have my shows, yes.  And I would tend to end my day with a little dose of tmz (did I seriously just admit that?).  Oh, and occasionally I'd flip to Ellen in the morning if I were really tired....

yikes, it's adding up!

Regardless, it's been almost a full week since Lent began last Wednesday and I'm ashamed to say it's been so hard!  G jokes that it's like I turned my back on a friend and now she's turned her back on me.

I'm so restless.

I'm SO bored.

I sit in front of the computer and I'm bored.  I read a book and I'm bored.

I don't even feel like shopping!  

I've been going to bed at 9pm because I'm too tired (or lazy, or lethargic) to do anything productive and too bored to just SIT there.

BUT, the point of giving something up at Lent isn't to fill that time or energy with just anything (don't think I didn't consider how many of my shows are available for watching online!).  The point is to use that time to reflect on the sacrifice Jesus made by giving up His home in heaven and coming to earth to be my Saviour!  The point is to identify with Him in some small way, and watch to see how He fills in the empty spaces.

"Open wide your mouth and I will fill it."
Psalm 81:10b

When I give the Lord my extra time, He MULTIPLIES it!  I didn't spend hours on end watching tv each day, and yet without it I'm able to:

Spend more time on my Bible Study homework, 
really letting it take root in my life instead of rushing to just get it done!

Listen to all those Focus on the Family Podcasts I've been
downloading for months.  What do you know, I'm actually LEARNING a thing or two!

Bake blueberry muffins and raisin bread with a very pleased 4 year old.

I felted old wool sweaters to make these sweet brooches I saw online.
(I know, that's just going too far...)

I even have time to not only think about but also PREPARE for some 
speaking-type things I have coming up.

I've been waking up rested - and haven't slept through morning devos with G once!
My fridge is clean and I think I may even get to the pile of ironing!
Heck, I might even EXERCISE!

I'm accountable now, and that's a little scary, but I'm just taking it a day at a time.  I want to offer the best of my days to the Lord, not the scraps!  Until the lenten season is over, I will persevere :)  but I'm also praying that this will enable me to use more wisdom and discernment in the future!

did YOU give anything up? (and has it been as hard for you as it has been for me?)


never enough

i think about things
and reflect...
i think about coming to this place
that has been a type of
sorting ground
for me...
writing -typing- out thoughts,
forming ideas,
realizing connections,
getting immersed in
the Word
(of God, that is).

but there haven't been enough hours in the day
or the evening, for that matter.

that may change
or maybe it's not supposed to...

my husband encourages me to keep at this for a full year.


i don't know.
the more i've looked around the world wide web,
the more aware i've become of the
~who knew?~
so full of people like me:

maybe it's realizing how small one person is in a
great big world.
maybe it's realizing that something serves a purpose
for a while
and then is finished.
maybe it's just getting out of a groove?
or into a groove?

the things on my mind these days:
speaking, when and how,
learning to love Jesus more,
-always obedience!

"Buy the truth and do not sell it;
get wisdom, discipline and understanding."
Proverbs 23:23

to blog or not to blog....
i continue to strive to add 
"a little bit more" 
to my life each day. 


morning light

In the first week of January, four mornings in a row, I woke and opened my blinds to a sight just like this:  the sky hand-painted by a loving God.

I was busy that week and was only able to gaze at the sunrise for a few moments before rushing into the morning routine.

But the first morning the sunrise was hidden beneath a thick covering of clouds, I noticed.  And as morning after morning, after morning came and went without a sunrise to enjoy, I started to find my heart wishing and aching to see that light again.  I would close my blinds at night before I went to bed and I would pray, "Oh Lord, let there be a sunrise for me to see so I can worship You."

"Surprise us with love at daybreak;
then we'll skip and dance all the day long"
(psalm 90:14 the message)

I think I missed a few - getting up late and rushing without even opening the blinds, but today


the sun shone, slowly rising above the houses across the street.
I've come to realize how very reliant I am on the bright sun, and how much I miss it when it's not around.  I need the light, but somehow it's more than that - it's the reminder of a creative and powerful God that has an intimate care for ME that brings life and light to my soul.  How thankful I am that I live in a part of the world that is blessed with lots of sun! 

How I want to reflect the Light to the world around me.

"Get out of bed, Jerusalem [BECKY]! Wake up. Put your face in the sunlight.
   God's bright glory has risen for you.
The whole earth is wrapped in darkness,
   all people sunk in deep darkness,
But God rises on you,
   his sunrise glory breaks over you.
Nations will come to your light,
   kings to your sunburst brightness.
Look up! Look around!
   Watch as they gather, watch as they approach you:
Your sons coming from great distances,
   your daughters carried by their nannies.
When you see them coming you'll smile—big smiles!
   Your heart will swell and, yes, burst!"
(isaiah 60:1-5 the message)

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