boot straps

it looks like these have bootstraps-
they're faux! ;)

None of my boots actually have straps, but I come from a long line of women who are skilled at pulling themselves up by them, figuratively speaking.

I relied heavily on that fact this morning when I flopped in front of the computer this morning, waiting for my coffee to brew having sent the kids off to school.  I surfed facebook and my google reader list as I often do in that time slot.  This morning I was a little extra tired after a very long (but great) day of ministry. (man, I love my job!)  As I read blogs and status updates that I usually enjoy and find encouraging and inspiring, some unwelcome feelings began to rise up in my spirit -  discouragement. disappointment. dissatisfaction.

Hovering over another blog title, spirit sagging, I heard the Still Small Voice: "turn it off."

I hovered a moment longer.  Why should I shut it off, it won't change anything...

turn. it. off.

I mustered up my resolve to live by the Spirit, yanked up those figurative bootstraps and obeyed.  I stumbled off up the stairs, poured my coffee and praised God for giving me the capacity to do the hard thing when I could have (and have in the past) easily given in to feeling sorry for myself, and looking at my life through the lens of how other people live.

Have you noticed the new verse I've chosen as a subtitle to the new look of the blog?  This is my prayer for the new year, a verse of the year(ish) that the Lord showed me in Decemeber.

"As the Spirit of the Lord works within us, 

we become more and more like him 

and reflect his glory even more." 

2 Corinthians 3:18 nlt

Hearing the Voice, saying YES and moving forward - to reflect His glory. 

Do you have a verse for this year?

one word

have you heard of this?

are you part of it?

i've never done it before, but as i sit here on day 4 of the new year with little motivation 

to write lists, 

or purge and clean,

or do other productive-type things 

that i normally am glad to do at this time of year...

i'm thinking about one word.

could one word make a difference in my life this year?

2013.

(didn't you think we'd be driving spaceships by now?)

i had a word in mind

(& i still like that word),

but another word kept popping up in front of me.

literally.

like when i picked up the sign my folks gave me for Christmas to consider where i'd like to hang it...

and when i clicked on sevenly.org to see what charity they're supporting and what tshirt they've made...

sevenly.org

and then i looked around my house and saw it again and again...

do you think the Lord is trying to lead me in a particular direction? ;)

hope

— n
1.	a feeling of desire for something and confidence in the possibility of its fulfilment
2.	a reasonable ground for this feeling
3.	a person or thing that gives cause for hope
4.	a thing, situation, or event that is desired
— vb  (often foll by for )
6.	to desire (something) with some possibility of fulfilment
7.	to have a wish (for a future event, situation, etc)
8.	to trust, expect, or believe

my favourite definition is #8.

my desire for 2013 is to live out the hope that is within me
because of my relationship with Jesus.

(i need to spend some more time thinking about what that will look like.)

hope - a strong and trustworthy anchor

Have you chosen one word for 2013?

looking back

I've already been thinking about New Year's Resolutions.... am I crazy or just so 'on the ball' that I'm way ahead of schedule?  haha.  Actually, I've just been thinking about why one resolution makes the cut and another doesn't (and why that darn 'exercise more' one never sticks?...).  It's occurred to me that my resolutions are almost always born out of how I experience Christmas, or at least the Christmas season.

Last year at this time, I was very overwhelmed.  I hated every moment of gift buying for my beloved family, I left the wrapping to the last minute, I only ended up getting out about half of my Christmas cards, I baked almost nothing and I cried at the drop of a hat. I had frequent heart palpitations and slept a lot.  I avoided parties and spent a lot of time thinking about moving to the mission field...  I felt so, SO much pressure - mostly pressure I put on myself, I'm sure.  I was overwhelmed with the feeling that enough is never enough, and for a (recovering) perfectionist, that is a very tough pill to swallow.

In the light of all this, then, I can easily recognize where my single resolution came from last year.

"Be Becky."

(read the post if this just sounds too crazy for words.. it might help you understand.)

Looking back over the past year, I think I've done a pretty good job at my resolution.  I've felt more secure and worried less about being a pleaser.  I've said no to many things, but initiated other things.  I'm learning to rest when I'm tired and scale back on the things that drain me.  I've read (almost) all of God's word and haven't given up even when I was 2 whole months behind!  I've prioritized my family, found more joy in my ministry and am trying to stop obsessing about the things the world tells me I should obsess over.

Overall, I feel lighter, more at peace and have experienced more moments of JOY.  I don't feel so desperate.... like I'm always missing something.

So, you may ask, what will my resolution be this year if indeed it relates to how I experience the Christmas season?

Well, I'm not sure I'll make one.  If anything maybe it will be *see last year's resolution.*  I have a long way to go in myself and this journey with the Lord, and I pray that as I continue to look to Him, He will add (and subtract) the things I need in my life to bring me closer to Him - a little bit more each day.

Those who know your name trust in you,

for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you.

psalm 9:10 (nlt)

long list



find it

 It should come as no surprise that when it comes to my life, I'm always looking for ways to improve.  The very title of this blog is representative of my life: 

"a little bit more"

Verses that speak to my heart often include lists.  Ones like:

  ~2 Peter 1:5-9

~Romans 5:1-4

~Titus 2:4-5

~Zephaniah 3:17

~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

~Micah 6:8

~Proverbs 2:1-5

~Colossians 3:12-15

~Psalm 143:8-10

~Job 11:13-18

~Deuteronomy 30:11-20

When I make a new year's resolution list, it usually will have categories and sub-headings... I do realize how crazy that sounds, and maybe right about now you're beginning to feel sorry for me, thinking that I'm so burdened by trying to live up to some impossible standard...

Well the thing is, I just don't see it that way.

Resolutions for me, are not something that I keep or break, start and stop.  It's pursuit.  It's reaching. 

Maybe I am worthy of your pity, but I feel perfectly balanced when I can be content with who I am and strive, with the Lord's help, to be more. 

I think that is why I feel really good about having only one item on my list this year.  It comes from a book I've been reading called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  Right from the beginning, I could identify with this author.  So when she said that number one on her list of Twelve Personal Commandments was "Be Gretchen," it really struck me.  And so perhaps is comes as no big surprise that my one resolution this year is to

Be Becky.

I recently discovered that someone who, after getting to know me a bit, has (I'm pretty sure) decided they're not that fond of me.  (gasp!)  ...and ouch.  And yet, it's ok.  I'm tired of trying to "fit" with people - I'm not even sure that it's honouring to the Lord.  When I alter my ideas or personality just to play by the rules of others, I'm not being who God has made me to be.

Let me be clear about what I'm not saying.

I'm not saying that in order to keep my resolution, I'm going to "let it all hang out" or be so completely (and offensively) "authentic" that I will be repulsive to be around.  At least I hope not! :)

What I long for in my life is what God wants for me based on His Word alone.  (This is why a sub-heading for my resolution is to a) learn who I am in Christ by reading the Bible from cover to cover.)  I want to grow up in Him, making choices in every area of my life (parenting, home decor, ministry, fashion, marriage, friendships) based on my gifts and His strength channeled through me - NOT based on fitting in or the concern of "rocking the boat."

audience of One.

My friend preached a sermon yesterday from the book of Philippians about "Pressing On."  As I looked into my favorite bible, underlined all over the place, I felt a pull toward learning this little book inside and out.  And so I chose from it my verse for this year:

"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more

in knowledge and depth of insight,

so that you may be able to discern

what is best

and may be pure and blameless

until the day of Christ,

filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ-

to the glory and praise of God."

Philippians 1:9-11

What better words to strengthen and encourage me to keep my resolve!

have YOU chosen a verse for 2011?

it's all new

Christmas has come and gone

and truth-be-told, I'm breathing a sigh of relief!

although I never get tired of seeing my kids on stage,

I'm not a huge fan of hustle and bustle, rushing to get everywhere.

These last few days have been the high-light for me...

endless hours in my new jammies,

organizing and purging....

there's nothing more peaceful and cleansing to me!

And so all that's left to say today is:

 

Happy New Year!

This is by far my favorite day of the year.

I'm all about resolutions and goals.

however...

It has taken me for-ev-ah to remember how to make a new header for the blog, so I don't have much time to post before heading off to spend New Year's Day with my folks.  

I haven't had terribly much to say here lately because there has been far too many things on my mind....

does that make sense??

I'm hoping to have time later today to sit and write and process...

to pray and listen....

I know the Lord has big plans for me this year.

How 'bout you?

Are you a resolution-type person?

let's share!

full circle

we're finally slowing down...

the parties are over...
the concerts completed with pizzazz!


the tree and decorations are put away and stored under the stairs...
tummies are full to the brim with more sweets than we can handle...
the new year has been rung in with minimal hoopla.


the first day of 2010 is coming to a close.


I sit back and reflect and I come full circle - to where this blog began....resolution.


Many people say resolutions are a waste of time.  My own husband/pastor preached from the pulpit that resolutions are not valuable, only attainable goals are worth setting.  But - (as I preached to him in the van on the way home from church!), I think there's value in resolutions.  And I think it's ok if they're a little lofty.  I am going to actually run a full marathon this year - or even lose the 5 pounds I've been wishing (but not working) to lose for the last 4 1/2 years?  probably not.  Will I read a non-fiction book each month?   Will I read the whole Bible cover to cover this year?  maybe I can!  I like to think about how I might grow and change and become a more lovely and worthy Christ-follower.  I like to dream about what my life would be like with perfect patience, joy and peace.  In my heart I know perfection isn't something to be achieved before heaven, but I also know it is the Lord that puts this dream in my heart.


peu à peu - (bit by bit) This expression is coined by "the French Woman" (who doesn't get fat).  She emphasizes in life and health that a french woman never makes a drastic change but rather does a small new thing each day.  


I think there's biblical truth there, too!


"Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." 2 Corinthians 4:16


The Message says the end part like this: "not a day goes by without his unfolding grace." 


I have the power and strength to be all the things God calls me to be, and He enables me to make the small changes it will take to become the vision He has for me!


I look up the long flight of stairs and dream about being up top, but take one step after the other to get there.

something new

About a week and a half before we went to camp, Abbey got her ears pierced! We had talked about it for many months, but it always came down to the same thing:

she was too scared!

However, when I requested her presence for a quick trip to the mall, she decided today is the day!

We ran our errands first and ended up at Claires for the deed to be done. My only concern with getting it done that day was that we were going to be at camp for almost 3 weeks, and would that affect the healing process? The girl at the shop assured us that if Abbey was willing to clean the earrings after every time she went in the water, it should be fine.

"That's a big commitment, sweetie," I warned, "It could mean cleaning them up to 5 times a day!"

Abbey said she was ready and it was time - she would be responsible for taking care of them.

Minutes (and no tears!) later, she proudly walked through the mall with her sparkling new earrings!

I admire alot about my firstborn, but that day I marveled at her commitment. When she is ready - she has amazing follow-through!

Coming off several weeks at camp, I've had quite a bit of time to consider my relationship with the Lord, what it looks like now and what it could look like with some tweaks to my spiritual practices. I've made some decisions about how I'd like to take my walk to a higher level, a deeper connection.

I am ready.

Lead me, Lord, and I will follow.

I want the follow-though that I witness in Abbey. I praise God for her example to me - it's awesome that it can work that way!

"And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint." Galations 6:9 (Amplified Bible)