this mom's heart

I'm not like other moms.  The things that can melt a mother's heart (tiny sleepers, first steps, first day of school) are not the things that make this mama weep.  Sure, I marvel at sleepers and celebrate all the firsts along the way, but the one thing that warms my heart as I watch my children grow is watching them move in the world with confidence.

via

Yesterday was our elementary school's annual bar-be-que.  This was a much anticipated event for the kids and I was all set to do my part volunteering at the ice cream station!  As the kids jumped out of the van, they ran into the school yard, each independently looking for their friends.  Almost three years ago, we first pulled up to that school and the two eldest stayed together until the bell rang.  They were the new kids and nervous about meeting everyone and how they would fit in.

As I watched them stroll around, acting like they owned the place, I praised God for what He's doing in these ones He's given me for this while.  I thanked God that even though we moved around a bit in the early years of their education, my kids are strong and confident.  They know who they are and that they're loved.  And as each one caught my eye, smiled and waved at different points of the evening, my heart squeezed with a mixture of pride and pain seeing them grow before my very eyes.

I'm in the early part of the book of Proverbs in my reading and I can identify with the father wanting to pass down wisdom to his son; wanting to prevent his son from making some of the same mistakes and yet releasing him to his own journey; putting faith in God, not parenting techniques.

To my children:

 "I have not stopped giving thanks for you, 

remembering you in my prayers. 

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

the glorious Father, 

may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, 

so that you may know him better. 

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened 

in order that you may know

 the hope to which he has called you, 

the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, 

and his incomparably great power for us who believe. 

(eph 1:16-19a)