7.10.09

all things to all people


I'm knee-deep in the middle of a very busy week and I'm fighting the strong inclincation to feel
discouraged
I have forgotten a coffee date
I have hurt the feelings of a friend - unintentional but....still hurt
I spent a lunch with friends on an emergency call that probably should have waited
My attention has been so divided
I'm having trouble focusing
I wish I had know about birthdays that were today
I wish my kids lunches were more normal and full
I wish my kitchen floor were clean and I'm wondering when my laundry will get done
People are telling me I look tired-
I wish I could take that as concern and not an insult
I can't help but wonder if my job will bring the results I'm praying for

I am fighting to keep it together.

Gavin knows I have a bit of a fasination with the Duggar family (you know, the ones with 18 and counting kids?), so he brought home from the library the book they published about their life and show on TLC.  Now there's a busy bunch!  The book has a nice lite-read kind of format, which is perfect for brain-drain weeks like this, and part of that means there are responses to popular questions they get asked.  Of course, scheduling is always a big one! Michelle (the mom) writes about having goals for each day, but realizing the life happens and you need to go with the flow.
"As the parents of all these children, we've gotten over
 any perfectionist tendancies we might once have had."

Am I going to have to go ahead and have 20 kids to release my tendancy to want to be all things to all people - to let go of my desire for earthly perfection?  I love my kids, but 3 is plenty at this point! 

What about today?
What about this crazy week....month?
What if life doesn't slow down?

"Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach..."
really? something even I could do?
"It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, 'Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?'"
then where do I go to get this command?
"Not is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, 'Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?'"
no delivery date?
"No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it."
I already have everything I need!
"Love the LORD your God,
Listen to His voice, and
Hold fast to Him.
For the LORD is your life"
Deuteronomy 30:11-14, 16

Oh Lord, enable me to live by Your Spirit, to be guided by Your wisdom in seasons of busy-ness and times of rest.  Let your love lead me so I can walk confidently through each day.  amen.

5 comments:

  1. not that this will dissipate your stress, but please know you aren't the only one who gets frustratingly overwhelmed or "spread thin".
    Even people with 2 kids....
    Yesterday (on the way home from a great choir practice), i listened to a song that reminded me that i ONLY need Jesus.
    Personally on a daily basis i feel like i NEED, control over the household, well behaved children,a perfect husband, a nice body, an organized life...and when those things don't become reality-failure and self loathing set in.
    I ONLY need Jesus.
    I was reminded last night to let Him pour himself into me and let the rest go.
    I'm not trying to preach or pretend that i've figured it all out. but as your "sister" and friend, i find solace in my VERY un-perfect life...to be able to tell others that , on some level, i understand you. :)

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  2. on many levels actually.

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  3. Oh, how right you are! It's a real blessing to know I'm not alone. Thanks, Christine!
    also....
    What song were you listening to?

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  4. Wailin' Jenny's
    "come all you sailors"

    nOt typically a band that i'm spiritually
    inspired by, but i guess God knows how to speak into my heart when its necessary.

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  5. You couldn't have said it any better. Not more humbly, more simply, or more eloquently. How often we want to run ahead of Him, and give ourselves to too much at one time. How thankful we can be that He never fails to be near and wait for us to remember who's we are, and in doing so remembering the very business we are to be about. Not rushed, or frantic, or anxiety filled, so things fall through the cracks. But instead intentional, and fulfilling, and walking with grace and humility. Just like His chosen people oh so long ago, we ALL forget, and we ALL need reminding from time to time. You are not alone. Thank you for being to voice so many of us need to hear to remind us how near God truly is.

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