rest

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; 

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    my hope comes from him.

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He alone is my rock and my salvation;

    he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

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My salvation and my honor depend on God;

    he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

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Trust in him at all times, O people;

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pour out your hearts to him,

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for God is our refuge.

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selah

Psalm 62:5-8

life

when did this become my life?

...a question i've asked myself a time or two.

usually it's at a time where the kids are fighting,

a toilet is overflowing,

the stresses are mounting...

but today i asked myself this question out of delight,

pleasure,

joy.

i actually got up early for QT this morning.  

i wish i were a little more regular with that, 

but nevertheless

TODAY

i got up and enjoyed the sunshine and the Word.

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after the kids left for school

(and G for the church),

i set about the weekly house cleaning.

everything spic-and-span makes me feel at peace.

i even vacuumed the entire carpet of the boy's room without sucking up a single piece of lego!

who knew that was even possible?

a shower, a light lunch and an episode of sarah 101.

a bike ride to the fabric store to buy burlap.

(a pinner i follow has been posting so many things you can make with burlap!)

did you know it only costs $1.99?

i didn't - happy surprise!

home again, coffee's on, grab my book and head out to the sunshine.

as i stepped toward the shed to put away my bike

two lovely butterflies chased each other around my head.

i actually questioned out loud,

"seriously?"

and as i looked around to see if anyone had heard me talking to myself, i marveled at this day.

when did this become my life?

{thank You Lord for a good day of refreshment.

thank You for all the days You've prepared for me -

i'll thank You now, just in case i don't have the strength 

at the time.}

"when times are good, be happy; 

when times are bad, consider this:

God has made the one as well as the other."

ecclesiates 7:14

What to do.

I wrote this post in the afternoon, sitting alone and pensive in starbucks while I waited for my daughter.  After I picked her up, we went straight to our young families small group where I continued to question myself in yet another crucial area of life - parenting.  But I found hope for every area of my life... stay tuned until the post script.

~*~ 

Everyone has things they are good at. Areas in which they excel.

Everyone has things they are not so good at. Areas that require growth.

This is not new Information. I don't have to type it on this blog for you to know that it's the truth.

I have asked myself the question before: "would I give up something about myself that I like to replace something I don't like?" For I truly believe that when we want to change something about ourselves - even something as basic as our body shape- we don't always want to give up our "best feature" to replace it with the whole package of another. We want both. We want it all.

There is a quality in myself that I'm growing to really dislike. Not a physical thing, a behavior... or maybe it would be called a personality thing.

My flaw (as we can call it) has hurt people. It hurts me. My flaw is not sinful. I wouldn't even say its selfish, exactly....though some might call it that. But I think it has been a source of pain for people I care about. (or maybe I'm kidding myself, placing too much value on myself.)

There is no bible verse that directly speaks to this area; no specific steps to overcome. But there are people who are gifted in my area of weakness. I guess I can try and learn from them, try and force what seems to come easily for them.

A little bit more.

I won't do things as well as others, I won't always know what to do or say, but I can try in my own way. I can let go the insecurities that hold me back and follow through.

Bit by bit....
With imperfection.....

And the help of the Lord.

 ~*~

p.s.

The last discussion question of our small group series suggested we memorize a couple of verses.  My jaw dropped as I read them and realized they were just for me! (yes, I'm sure the other parents in the room could benefit from them, but I just know they're for me, the answer to all of the above questions.)

from the Message:

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

 

"He told me: my grace is enough.  

It's all you need.

My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen.

I quit focusing on the handicap and 

began appreciating the gift.

It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness.

Now I take limitations in stride, and 

with good cheer, 

these limitations that cut me down to size...

I just let Christ take over!

And so the weaker I get,

the stronger I become."

(may I never say again there's "no bible verse" that speaks to any part of my life!)

won't give up

part of what my husband and i do in ministry is offer pre-marriage counseling.   we really enjoy getting together with (usually) young couples with stars in their eyes and so much hope...

we always say how good it is for our own marriage to go through the basics over and over again.  we do the sessions in our home around food and hot coffee, and we've always told our kids that they are part of the ministry with us.  their job is mostly to stay downstairs playing wii (not fighting) and to pray for our friends that come.  it's so sweet to hear their voices lift up these couples as they "remind" God that so&so are getting married...

this spring we've had 4 couples lined up (and one more come fall), so it's been quite busy!  we try very hard to have fun with them, build a (hopefully lasting) relationship with them but also be very honest.

  "without the Lord at the centre of their life, I don't know how people make it," we tell them.

  "there will come a time where being a good person is not enough motivation to do the right thing, where wanting to please your partner won't matter enough to treat them well.  only Jesus will carry you through. without Him, you will give up."

my cousin (in law?) posted a video on her shop's blog of a very young duo doing a very cool rendition of "call your girlfriend."  i had to hear more of them!  in my searching, i found this version of "i won't give up" by jason mraz.  something about these sweet 12 and 8 yr old voices.....

I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up

if "looking up" means looking to Jesus for His grace, forgiveness and acceptence.....

if it means seeking Him for completeness and restoration.....

if not giving up means not giving in to the lies of devil...

it'll all be ok.

you won't give up.

you will go the distance.