There is a reasonable side to pleasing others that says you will seek to put the needs of others ahead of your own, in Christ-like fashion, but also know that you can't please everyone all the time. There will be times that people don't agree with decisions you make, and that's OK.
That sounds reasonable, doesn't it?
If you are silently answering, "yes, but...." then you probably have the same disorder I fight.
People Pleasing can be debilitating and will produce stomach churning anxiety. You will worry about what someone thinks, but not just in a calm, rational way. You will turn that worry over and over and over until you feel something similar to motion sickness. You will attempt to predict how they will respond - usually with the worst case scenerio. You will want to avoid the Scary Person (who is, you realize, just a person....not so scary, but you can't stop seeing them through scary lenses). You will tell yourself you are virtuous because, really, you just want them to be happy. You tell yourself you just want to please them, when really what you want to do is jump up and down in front of them and cry,
"please, please like me! don't be mad at me! please accept me! PLEASE!"
This is no way to live (I tell myself).
In the midst of some strange and very specific rules for the Israelites in the book of Leviticus, there are five verses that jumped off the page into my people-pleasing heart yesterday. (From chapter 18:1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses,
2 “Give the following instructions to the people of Israel.
I am the Lord your God.
3 So do not act like the people in Egypt, where you used to live,
or like the people of Canaan, where I am taking you.
You must not imitate their way of life.
4 You must obey all my regulations and be careful to obey my decrees,
for I am theLord your God.
5 If you obey my decrees and my regulations,
you will find life through them.
I am the Lord.
I hear the Lord reminding me: Don't look at how other people live. Don't try and do things the way they do them just because you think they'll like you more. Don't worry about what they think about the decisions you make. Look at Me! Look at Me and please Me. Not because you're bound to rules but because I AM the One who gives you life. I AM your Lord.
The disorder will not go away over night and the knot in my stomach is still there to a degree, but now it serves as a reminder to surrender my worries, my identity to Jesus.