reflecting on Maundy Thursday

March is always a busy month for me, and this year was the same!  I have much to do in the ministry, particularly leading up to Holy Week.  The downside of this is that I don't have alot of time to really reflect on each of the special services we have at our church.  Over the past few days, I've been thinking alot about what happened Easter weekend.  This year, the Lord used my imagination to see things in a new way and I want to spend the next couple of posts reflecting on it all.  I hope it's not too 'been there, done that' for you!

The first time I participated in a Maundy Thursday service was in 2006.  At our small church in Durham, we held a foot washing service that was to celebrate and recall Jesus washing the feet of His disciples right before He was arrested and led to the cross.  I was nervous!  Should I get a pedicure?  Who exactly will be touching my feet?  ick.

It turned out to be a very beautifully intimate time as the pastor invited people to come up in pairs (of our own choosing!)  and wash each other's feet.  I watched as an elderly man came with his adult daughter....a woman, full-bloom with baby #3 came with her husband.....our worship leader came with his soon-to-be-married daughter....  My husband and I went together and I was surprised how humbling it was to have him wash my feet - I don't usually have trouble letting him serve me! ;)

At our current church, we do it a little differently.  We wash each other's feet around the circle, women washing women and men washing men.  This year the senior pastor's wife washed my feet and while it certainly felt a little awkward for me, she graciously poured the warm water over my feet and dried them with a clean, white towel.  As she knelt down in front of me, she looked up and smiled.

And suddenly, I had a clear image of my Saviour, looking up and smiling at me.  My eyes filled with tears as I realized how far I fall short of such tender love.  I thought of Jesus, His own mind whirling with what was to come and yet taking the time to serve me.

How many times have I considered service a burden?

How many time have I told my kids, 'I'm not your slave!'

How many times have I *sighed* either inwardly or outwardly, as I've been forced to put aside my own desires for the needs of someone else.

Mark 10 tells the story of Jesus encoutering a rich young man.  The man wanted the eternal life God was offering, yet struggled with claiming it.  Jesus knew the man's heart, and could see what was blocking him from really making a change in his life.  He didn't *sigh* frustrated to have to explain it all again, He didn't tell the man to go ask someone else, or ask again later...

"Jesus looked at him and loved him."

Mark 10:21

Jesus knows my limitations and He also knows my heart.  He looks at me and loves me.  He patiently leads me toward Himself, guiding me and lovingly correcting my wrong thinking.  His plans for the world are so big, and yet He cares about my journey, my little problems!

Jesus looked up at me and smiled, as He tenderly poured warm water over my feet and dried them with a clean white towel.  Better than a pedicure at the finest spa! 

deconstructing criticism

I recently finished a 10 week bible study course by a well-known author.  I had read her books before, but didn't even know she had a bible study!  Week after week we gathered and watched a video of the author speaking on what we studied and then shared the insights we gained from the daily homework.


Anyone who knows me knows I love Beth Moore!  I love to delve into her bible study workbooks and am always amazed by what I learn.  Even more than that, I LOVE her preaching style!  I've heard others say that she's "a little much" for them, but I am so moved by her passion and love of the Lord and His Word!


The study I just finished was not one of Beth's.


I shouldn't have done it, but I compared this other lovely woman to Beth...


and I was critical...


so critical.


More than once I commented on the speaker's awkward speaking style.  I questioned how it was even possible that such a well-know author, who had obviously done many speaking engagements could have so many "flaws" in her communication style.


Then my girlfriend gave me this author's autobiography.  It told of a little girl who was raised by a mentally ill mother and locked in a closet for hours at a time.  The story went on to describe a young woman who spent hours with a vocal coach, trying to straighten out her speech.  As she found freedom in the Lord, she was delivered from much of the hurt of her past - praise the Lord!


but....ouch.


Another painful reminder about being judgmental.
  

 'He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, 

for my power is made perfect in weakness."'

2 Corinthians 12:9

If His grace is enough for me, why would it not be enough for me to extend to others?  How sorry I am that I allowed the devil to use a critical spirit to distract me from what the Lord may have taught me.....

or maybe this is the lesson.